Tales from Area 52
by Claws McDonald
Summary: Ever wondered what the monsters do in Area 52 or in any daily routine week? Well, read to find out and get to know them better
1. Fool's Day

**A/N: You might ask what this is gonna be about. Well, I will be posting some one-shots featuring the monsters of Area 5X. It will be about anything, really. And this is gonna take a lot of time man. First off, we start with a holiday where some people are the fools and others the kings of the jokes. Please R&R!**

**Italics are for thoughts.**

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Link was sleeping soundly in his tank. There was not even a sound to disturb his sleep. It was so peaceful and quite. Abnormally quite. Very eerily quiet. Link got up from where he was sleeping and looked at his waterproof clock. **3:27 a.m**. _How can that be? _Link wondered _I've been sleeping a lot more than that man!_ He then looked upon to his calendar and his eyes went as wide as saucers. **April 1****st****, 2011. "**This can't be good…" he said under his breath. Link drained all the water from his tank before opening the huge metal door.

He peered into the main room to find everyone starting to eat breakfast. _You won't get me this time Monger_ he thought, he then stepped out of his room and a giant bucket of chocolate sauce fell over him. There were some muffled screams coming from inside the bucket, but they sounded to say: "My eyes are on fire!". "Now I get why that was up there…" B.O.B. said and then laughed at Link, who was trying to get the bucket off of him.

The doctor was laughing madly and could barely say "I think Monger already got his first victim of the day!". "Oh shut up bug-man!" Link snapped from under the bucket. "Monger did this?" Susan asked, pointing at Link, who was bathed in chocolate sauce and had red eyes, with her spoon. "Yes, you see my dear; it is a tradition for Monger to do jokes on us every 1st of April. He has done that since he had Link, B.O.B., Bill and me here" Doctor Cockroach explained after calming his mad laughs. "And I thought he was going to have mercy on us this year like he did last year. But no… he has to have all the fun for himself" Link said as he finished cleaning himself up with a towel he found. He then found a piece of paper lying on the floor. He picked it up and read out loud:

"I hope you liked being the first fool of the day Link, please warn the others that this day is gonna get a bit _spicy _and _colorful_"

General W.R. Monger.

"Yeah whatever you say" he scrambled the paper and threw it, then walked over to the table and sat down. "He only does jokes on us? Or do the personnel also count?" Susan asked as she started to take the first spoonful of her oatmeal. "It depends. He sometimes gets some people to help him on doing the jokes and other times he makes jokes to all the people" Link said.

Suddenly, Susan looked as red as a tomato and was panting hard with her tongue out like if she had run a marathon. "Why are you red Susan?" B.O.B. asked concerned. "My dear, what do you have?" Doctor Cockroach asked. "Girl, drink some coffee" Link said. Susan could just nod, for she felt like if the Devil was dancing in her tongue. She took her giant cup and sipped some coffee so the horrible inferno could stop. Susan almost spit her coffee out, for it made it worst. She made a sprint to her room, knocking off her chair while doing so, and went directly to the sink so she could end the horrible burning inside her mouth. "Victim number two" Doctor Cockroach said "and it was our poor Susan" He walked up to her oatmeal and took a tiny piece of it to examine it between his hands. He sniffed it and then tasted a bit of it, then said with tearful eyes. "They put a very strong chili in her oatmeal and then in her coffee, that's what I can guess. Oh god from where is this chili".

"Who do you think will be the next victim of today?" Link asked before ripping the head out of his fish. "I don't know if it could be B.O.B., me or…" he was cut in mid-sentence by a loud _SCREEEECH_ coming from Insectosaurus's room "Or poor Insecto" Link finished for him and then ran to Insecto's room. Susan finally came out of her bedroom's bathroom and sat again, she was still panting but not like before. "Are you all right Susan?" the Doctor asked. She nodded, her face still a bit red. "Good, but I can't say the same for Insectosaurus" Doctor C. said.

"What happened to him?" she asked.

"Insecto! What the hell did they do to you?"

Link's yelling made everyone jump and look over to Insecto's room. B.O.B. was already getting scared with the jokes and he was trembling like a Jell-o. Everybody got up and went to see what happened to Insectosaurus. They entered to the room and found instead of a giant orange butterfly, they found a giant blue and green butterfly. Its belly was green whilst the rest of its body was blue and its wings were a combination between green and blue.

"How did this happened buddy?" Link asked shocked.

_SCHREEEECH_

"Damn Monger, he's getting too far in this"

_SCREECH SNORT_

"I know, but I hate when he does this"

"I hope it doesn't occur to him to do another joke in the next 5 minutes" the Doctor said.

"Sweet toast in the sky!"

Everybody jumped at B.O.B's screaming and looked at where he was, err, standing. Or where he was standing a moment ago. "Where did blue boy go?" Link asked looking around. "Guys, I'm right here!"

They all looked up and found B.O.B. glued to Insecto's bedroom roof with some kind of rainbow thing that didn't appear to be from this planet. "Or better say, in the next 5 seconds" the Doctor muttered to himself. "B.O.B.! How did you got up there?" Susan asked. "I only looked up and this thing caught me!" he answered, looking rather uncomfortable.

"Don't worry my gelatinous friend, we will get you down from there!" the Doctor said. The strange substance mixed with B.O.B., making him turn from a blue blob to a Technicolor blob. "Guys look! I look like a pony!" he said cheerfully, obviously forgetting he was about 380 feet above the floor. He suddenly started to fell and landed exactly on Doctor Cockroach.

The poor Doc choked for air. "B.O.B.! Spit out the Doctor!" Link said. B.O.B. did as told and the Doctor's lab now looked like a rainbow. "Now Doc looks like a pony!" B.O.B. said happily. "And my eyes are burning like the terrible place down there" Doctor C. said rubbing his eyes. "Okay, the General had his fun. Is he gonna stop now?" Susan asked, hoping for the answer to be yes. "I have no idea, my dear. But I am sure that we are no longer the first ones in his black list" Doctor C. explained.

"I don't know, but I am sure that his next victims will be "The Joints Chiefs of Staff" people" Link said, grinning from ear to ear. "Don't tell me even the president is in the General's victims list" Susan said, raising an eyebrow and smiling. "Oh yes he is" Doctor Cockroach said rubbing his hands together in plain amusement. "What were we talking about?" B.O.B. asked dumbly.

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"Happy April's fools day to everyone!" General Monger said, greeting everyone in the Joints Chief of Staff office. Everyone that shook hands with Monger would smile sheepishly at him, for they knew that he always did a different joke to them every year. "Everybody, salute President Hathaway!" One tough soldier yelled over the noise of people talking. Everyone fell silent as the main doors opened to reveal no one else but President Hathaway itself. The anthem started to play as he descended the stairs with a smile on his face. President Hathaway walked over to his chair and motioned everyone to take their respectful place. "Everyone may take a seat" he said. Everybody took a seat and there were some noises coming from beneath them. Everyone immediately glared at General Monger, knowing he was the one behind the joke. He chuckled and said "You are all fools again".

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**I hope you liked the first chapter of my new series guys. Please move the cursor to the small button down here that says "review this chapter" and tell me if you like it. And please people, no flames.**


	2. The Secret Camera

**A/N: I am really sorry I haven't updated _anything_ I am writing. But I have an excuse, f*cking exams for Cambridge and work...also for , the schools in Mexico are taking this exams for checking your english and helping you improve and yadda yadda. But their language is so difficult! They change a lot of words -.-' and me don't likes it. Also, right now, I am suffering a horrible,supposedly, allergy and it is killing me. And above all that, my computer started to malfuction last week, the charger wouldn't cooperate with me and so my parents took it to a computer center. Worst of all is that I had all the stories I am working on in there and I wasn't that intelligent to even pass them to my USB. Right now, I am using my mom's laptop and the story you are about to read is also in my dA account (BTW I have been banned from dA until new news come, I can't talk about it here :C). All right stop listening to my problems and read the next one-shot please. Oh and btw I got stupid when I wrote this back on dA, so don't tell me what is wronmg about this please.**

**DISCLAIMER: I totally don't own MvA, only the Junior Novel and a copy of it. I do own that little soldier in there :3**

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The big gray room was eerily quiet. Not always you could have this silence in Area 52. The cockroach-headed mad scientist was working on another invention; he was sitting at his wooden chair in what he called his "invention zone". Even though they were already free and 50 years had already passed, Link, the half-ape, half-fish hybrid, was still playing cards with B.O.B., the always happy blue blob. Link was winning, even though he didn't had the help of the giant, orange butterfly. The 50 foot woman was using the big screen, checking important messages from the people they have helped around the world. They were silent, until the doctor got up from his chair and went directly to the giant metal door without saying anything.

"Hey doc! Where are ya going?" Link asked.

"To show my new experiment to General Monger!" Dr. Cockroach answered without even looking back.

"That's weird" Link said.

"What's weird?" B.O.B. asked as he looked up from his cards.

"The Doc is spending too much time with the same invention and he goes too much with Monger" Link said.

"If you ask me, I think the doctor is just working in something important that the general needs" Susan said taking her eyes off the screen for a moment .

"Maybe" Link shrugged and continued his game of Poker with B.O.B.

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"Bingo!" B.O.B. yelled and threw his hands into the air.

"B.O.B., for the hundredth time, this is Poker! Not Bingo!" Link said between clenching teeth.

"What were we doing?" B.O.B. asked totally confused now. Link just slapped himself in defeat.

"Phew, I finally finished with the messages" Susan said rubbing her tired eyes.

"Hey, isn't that folder still missing?" Link asked as he approached the white-haired giantess.

"Oh please, don't tell me that" Susan groaned tiredly.

"Hey girl, leave this one to old Linkster and go to rest a bit" Link said.

"You sure?"

"Absolutely"

"Well then, but you must take care of B.O.B. too"

"Ugh, 'kay I'll have an eye on blue boy"

"Thanks Link, see you later guys" she then left to her room, leaving Link and B.O.B. alone in the gray room.

"Alright, let's see what this is about" Link cracked his knuckles and started to search what was in the computer's folder. He tried to open it but he needed a password, and the Doc was the only one that knew every single password of the facility.

"Hey Link!"

Link got startled by B.O.B. and lost his balance making him fell to the floor.

"B.O.B.! Don't do that while I'm busy!"

"Sorry Link" B.O.B. pouted as a five-year-old innocent child.

"Please don't scare me like that, 'kay?" Link said a bit less harsh.

"Okay" B.O.B. said then went oozing around the room searching for something to do. Link got to his feet and found out that he accidentally got the correct password while landing his tail on the controls. He searched through the files but found nothing else than a program with the name "S.C.M.O." He was very curious about it, so he clicked on it and a new window opened. He figured out it was Monger's office. He could see Monger doing a bad imitation of the Moon Walking and stiffing his laughs. Link turned up the volume a little and noticed they were listening to a mix of 50's and 80's music.

"Not bad Monger, not bad"

"Well doctor, I'm gettin' old. This general can't dance like before"

"True, but now it's my turn"

Dr. Cockroach then started to do his movements while Monger just stared with a hand over his mouth. Link couldn't stand it anymore and so he burst out laughing not caring who was with him or if anyone was watching him. B.O.B. came over and watched with a confused expression what was happening.

"Why is the Doc dancing with Monger like that?" he asked innocently.

"I have no intelligent answer to that!" Link managed to say before bursting into a maniacal laugh that made Susan get out of her room.

"Guys, what's going on here?" she asked with an annoyed, yet worried, tone. She got to the computer and her face instantly changed to one of amazement and confusion. "Why is the Doctor at the General's office dancing?" she asked.

"No idea!" Link answered. Suddenly, someone's shadow appeared at the door's window and the knock was barely audible by the loud music. The door opened a bit and they could see young Kyle Smith's head staring at the General and the Doctor in shock. He closed the door making Monger and the Doc jump in surprise but then continued dancing.

Kyle then entered to the main room while Susan, B.O.B. and Link were still watching the two old guys dance.

"Dudes, I just went to clarify something with the General, and suddenly I find him dancing with-"he was cut in mid sentence as he saw the three monsters at the computer using a program he knew about "Why are you guys using that program?" he asked.

"No idea, I left Link here to check some messages and when I heard laughing, I found him watching this and didn't knew what to ask him" Susan said.

"I found this portfolio with the name ¨S.C.M.O.¨ and then this appeared!" Link said in defense.

"Link that initials mean Secret Camera at Monger's Office" Kyle said understanding the situation.

"You knew about this?" Susan asked.

"It was just a joke the personnel did to Monger months ago, I thought they uninstalled the camera after that".

"Well this proves they didn't and they really know how to have fun!" Link said.

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"Okay man, show me what you got" Monger said as he changed the music to a hip hop type.

"Get on the dance floor  
show me what you got  
now use your movements  
and start rolling like a ball"

Doctor Cockroach sang pretending he was a rapper. Then the Doctor stopped as he spotted something on the wall.

"General, is that what I think it is?" he asked nervous for the answer.

"What are ya talking about?" Monger asked confused.

"The small lens on the wall" the Doc said.

Monger turned his head to where the Doctor was telling him and moved closer to it. He then yelled "Shut down that useless camera!" The lens then closed as soon as he finished the sentence.

"Um…General…what now?" the Doc asked.

"Let's pretend nothing happened here, okay?" the general said-

"Okay" was the only word Doctor Cockroach could get his mouth to form.

"Now, time for our limbo contest".

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**A/N: It was stupid, I know, but I wanted so much to update this one-shots C: **

**Anyway, I hope you did like it, please review, do constructive criticism, don't eat yer vegetables and be good kids :D**

**P.S.****Time for a random question: Who of you is bi-WINNING?**


	3. Escaping Tales

**All right, I haven't been writing a lot lately...until now that is C: Hehe. Well, next week you might not see me 'round here, for I am going over to my grannie's house at a different state here down in Mexico. And she has no internet D: So...yes.**

**Well dun worry 'bout me. Read on and check my profile for upcoming one-shots.;D**

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"Oh bloody!" Doctor Cockroach yelled as he, once again, zapped his hand with the electricity cables he was working with.

"Hey Doc! You sure you don't need any help with that?"

He clutched his zapped hand with the good one and turned around. "Link, I'm fine. If you just want to help me so you can start watching T.V. faster, you just have to tell me".

Link gave a low growl in response before turning around and continued his game of cards with the brainless blue blob, which was more concentrated in looking at his cards than what was happening around him.

"All right B.O.B., do you have any fours?" Link asked cautiously for he didn't had the help of his giant butterfly friend at the moment. B.O.B.'s eye lit up and he gasped in amazement.

"How do you do that? Are you any type of mind reading creature?" he asked as he gave Link his three fours. Link inwardly sighed in relief for he was winning without cheating for the first time.

"It's just a gift B.O.B." he looked over at Doctor Cockroach "a gift that only I have at the moment:" Link had said it loud enough so the Doctor could hear him. The latter grinded his teeth, for he had said that Link wouldn't be able to win a game of 'Go Fish' without his enormous butterfly friend.

_'Good thing neither Susan nor Insecto are here, so I can be able to strangle him without any witnesses around'_ Doctor Cockroach thought and grinned just at that dark happy thought. He might have been Link's friend for more than 50 years now, but there were some times he just wanted to knock him out-cold to make him shut up.

"Looks like I won again" Link stated proudly as he laid his cards on the table. Doctor Cockroach just rolled his eyes, even thought he knew that Link was going to tease him for the rest of his life. B.O.B. made a small pout in direction to Link, whom was glancing over to the already annoyed mad scientist.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Hey Doc" Link called out.

Doctor Cockroach ignored him, but that wasn't going to stop him.

"Hey Doc" He called out again.

'_Just keep ignoring him Cockroach. Maybe he'll stop'_.

"Hey Doc" Link called out for a third time.

'_Or maybe not'_.

"Are you already finished with the T.V.?" Link asked.

Doctor Cockroach was beginning to lose his cool, but managed to say something instead of bursting into random yelling towards Link. "No, I am not finished yet Link. Wait at least another half hour until it is ready". Link groaned at the response and slumped back into his seat, already tired of always winning in 'Go Fish'. B.O.B. eventually gave up and had retired to his room for a well-earned nap.

_Maybe a small prank to the Doc can cheer me a bit up _Link thought, a smug grin coming to his face. Just the thought of making the Doc lose it was music to his ears. _Especially if that prank involves some of his old machine stuff from his room. _Link's grin became bigger at the last thought. He got out of his chair and headed towards Doctor Cockroach's room, ready to start digging through the collection of old failed experiments the Doctor had kept from a long time ago. He went behind Doctor Cockroach's back as silently as he could.

Link was cut short when he heard the doors to the main room open. Susan entered the room holding an ice pack to her left eye. She walked/limped over to the giant sofa and slumped on it, too tired to even say 'hello' to Link and to the Doctor.

Link and Doctor Cockroach saw this and immediately stopped what they were doing. They went over to the edge of what was a table to Susan and looked over at her, she had her eyes closed and seemed to be ready to go out as a light at any moment by now.

"Hey Suz, how was the mission with B?" Link asked only receiving a thumbs-up from Susan.

"Anything new we have to be informed about, my dear?" asked Doctor Cockroach, his answer was a mumble that signified a 'no'.

Link and Doctor Cockroach glanced at each other, the same question going through their minds and the same feeling written all over their faces. They both decided on what to do without words, after all they had known each other for over 50 years by now. Both of them carefully maneuvered their way over the giant sofa and climbed over Susan so they would be at her stomach so they could talk to her.

"Anything wrong happened my dear?" Doctor Cockroach asked in a fatherly tone he had used since he had met Susan.

"Besides the fact that a robot made out of rusted metal and that was half my height got to beat me up and humiliate me in front of all the state of Denver, I would say it went quite well" was the enfeeble response Susan gave to Link and the Doctor who in turn glanced at each other, feeling like parents that had to cheer up their kid after getting humiliated at recess by the school's bully.

"Want to talk 'bout it big gal?" Link asked with a tone of a concerned brother.

"No thank you, I just need some rest, that's all" Susan insisted.

Link and the Doctor glances at each other for what was the third time and a thought came to both of them like a lighting striking a tree on a stormy night. They could cheer up Susan by telling her some adventure they had had in the past at the facility. They both grinned as wide as they could, then Doctor Cockroach spoke up.

"My dear, maybe a tale might make you feel a bit less bad for what has happened?" he asked. Susan perked up, a bit surprised, and for the first time since she entered the room, Link and Doctor C. were able to see the bruise that was forming in her left eye, which was looking pretty bad.

"Thank you guys, but I'm not a seven-year-old anymore" Susan said whilst pressing the ice-pack to herbruising eye again.

"I meant a tale of one of our many escapes, my dear" said a grinning cockroach.

"Say what?" said Susan.

"Yeah, we could tell you some good adventures we had back in the '70's or better in the late '60's!" Link said.

"Our best years in attempting to escape I must add" said Doctor Cockroach.

Susan was feeling better as she pushed, no scratch that, she threw away the thoughts of the battle with the robot she just had hours before. Link and the Doctor jumping off her stomach as she shifted into a sitting position and then with her hand placed the Doctor and Link in her part of the table, ready to hear the stories they were going to tell her.

"All right big girl, what would you wanna hear about?" Link asked, hands on his head.

Susan thought of it for a moment, then shrugged and said "Surprise me" a smile forming on her lips.

"Let's see, the best missions we have in store are the missions 'Big Break', 'Smile for the Camera' and 'Wave Goodbye'. What would you like to hear first Susan?" Doctor Cockroach asked.

"The order you told them is good for me" she said.

"This is gonna be good" Link said as he rubbed his hands together in a mischievous manner.

"All right, it all starts on a morning in the year of 1968…

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**And there it ends...Pfft, I can't be serious in anything man. This will become either a three-shot or a four-shot (Is that what they are called?) depending on the words each part will have.**

**Have a good out.**

**P.S. Tell me a good 'That's What She Said' joke lads and lassies.C:**


	4. Night at the Facility

**Just read and enjoy.**

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He was walking good naturally about the metal hallways of the giant prison. It was nighttime, his monsters were sound asleep in their personal quarters, every one of them tired from another day of saving the world. He was proud of them though he didn't show it at all times. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders the day president Hathaway had granted him permission to let his monsters be free. It had been hard at first, but the people stopped being scared of them and now they were seen as heroes all over the world. The old general smirked at that memory. It had been at least 3 years since that day, and he felt like if it had been just a week ago. Maybe that was what freedom felt like, for his monsters had been at least 50 years in that old prison, except for Ginormica, she had been only a month, she sure as hell was lucky. The general sighed, he looked around the hallway he was walking by and noticed how silent and eerie it looked without the always buzzing people passing by.

_ I should go and rest now _he said to himself, but he couldn't bring his feet to turn around and walk back to his own quarters. He wasn't sleepy at all; in fact, he wanted to walk around the facility, _his_ facility. He wanted to check that no one from the personal that stayed at night was going around the hallways. But most of all, he wanted to check on his monsters. He had grown very fond of them, they might give him a migraine from time to time, but they were like a family to him. A very crazy, strange and freaky lot but a family nonetheless. He came to a moving platform and stood on it, he pressed a button on the main control and the platform came to life. It moved slowly and silently across the wall, he pushed another button and it came to a halt. He was facing an enormous metal wall, he moved a panel that was in front of him and was greeted by the sight of the sleeping blue blob, B.O.B.

The general smiled, B.O.B. was clutching a teddy bear and was snoring loudly. The general silently closed the panel and moved on to the next wall. He repeated the process, but this time, behind the panel was a glass that prevented the water of the room to come out. The half-ape, half-fish creature called The Missing Link was also snoring loudly and from his nose came out bubbles every time he did that. The general closed the panel and did the same process with the next two walls. On the first one, he had seen the half-cockroach scientist, Dr. Cockroach who else, sprawled on his desk, pencil in hand and muttering something about a laser. He would be talking to him the next day. And on the second one, he had seen the giant orange butterfly, Butterflyosaurus, snoring out loud and her wings making slight breezes here and there.

Finally he came to the last wall; he opened the panel but saw the room empty. No one was sleeping on the giant bed nor on the desk, as the giant woman, Ginormica, had been doing for quite some time now. He closed the panel and scowled looking at the floor. If she wasn't in her bedroom, where was she then? An option was the kitchen, but he had gone there some time ago, maybe she had gone there while he was approaching the moving platform. _Yeah that should be it, I should go and check _he said to himself and pushed some buttons so the platform would go back to its dispatch point.

The general walked fast but silent as he was taught at the academy and shortly came to the kitchen. He peeked from the door before entering and was greeted by the sight of none other than Ginormica herself holding a glass of water. She seemed surprised to see him in the kitchen at this time, the general thought the same from Ginormica.

"Um, general…what are you doing here?" Ginormica said eyeing him.

"I was gonna ask you the same Ginormica" he said while standing straight and folding his hands behind his back. "Why are you here?"

"I couldn't sleep well. So I came for a glass with water" she said.

The general nodded. "All right. But you should get going; this is no time for someone going around the facility".

Ginormica nodded and easily passed past the general, she got to the corner and before turning right so she could get to her room she looked at the general, a small smirk in her face. "You shouldn't be wandering at night neither general. I saw you the other night checking on me." And with that, she turned the corner and her fast pace was heard until it disappeared.

The general turned a very slight shade of red and stared in her direction. A small smile played its way into his face.

_What a woman that is._

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**I'm still alive! Don't worry about me ;) Just school and loads of homework and projects.**

**Now, about this...I had to. I EFFING HAD TO WRITE SOME LIGHT MONGER/SUSAN. I kind 0f blame Nurzubesuch for that =3= In a good way actually. You can also find this on my Tumblr account C:**

******You can find it on my profile.**

_(I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that /shot/)_


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